A Complete Break from Things

I'm looking into the national guard because they seem to have a lot to offer, but after today, I'm not so sure about my choice.
A while back, the History channel was showing a documentary over the military, the Marines. There were two groups: a group of college kids coming into the military and a group of trainees on their last two weeks of training, just in time for what they call(pardon the language)"He__ Week." I believe the name of the show was "Training Day." We were watching it and a friend from the UCM, who has already gone through training and is involved in the National Guard. She looked like she was captivated by the show, as though recalling all the memories of "He__ Week." My curiousity was peeked because I didn't really understand just how hard "He__ Week" was, but she did; so I enquired about it to her. She shared some of the expiriences of that week, and I realized that I was never going to be ready for that week, despite the fact that she said by the time it rolls around you should be ready.
I truly appriciate her dedication and the training she goes through to get where she is. But I can't ever understand the feelings that come up during those ten weeks of training.
On a lighter note: Today I got a term paper done and when I turned it in, I answered him with a "Sir!" and promptly presented my essay for him to take for examination. I went back to my dorm thinking about the coming training that I will go through for Air National Guard, how it would feel to be a 'trooper, and what my friend had told me about the Staff Sgt.s eating tuna onion sandwiches so when you were spoke to you would inevitably foul up and react.
My imagination started going, as I hadn't slept much in the last three days due to papers, worries, and it's all my choice.
I imagined a skinny, funny-looking trainee looking as immoble and alert as possible as a staff sergent, yellow onion in hand, spout lectures(mouth half-full) through a cloud of foul nocious breath the likes of which slowly erk the trainee. "Simons! You ever seen a squat before, because I that's got to be a first records to go down as the worst squat I have ever seen!"
Yeah I could be a Staff Sgt. some day. My head is already filled with horrible tortures to bring out the best in people.
My day-dream went something like this:

NOTICE: THERE IS SUGGESTION OF FOUL LANGUAGE. No need to read if you already know how these guys get things done...
Simons is a bit of a slacker. Pulled aside,about to get a good lesson in unity.
*platoon just returns from the field others line the bathrooms*
-Chief Drill Instructor-"Simons! You call that a squat?! I got people lined up for a bathroom that can squat more than you! And they're not as full of -..poo!
-Sir! Permission to speak freely..-
-I didn't tell you to speak! I told you to squat! But since you feel like you need special attention, I'll make you our special mascot of the day!
-Troop four thirty-two, Report!
*all leave bathroom and assemble*
-Troop 432, a trooper in your squad feels special and I've oblidged to grant him his wish; So for the remainder of the day, Mr. Simons is going to get all the special attention he can handle!
*shadow of dispare falls*
-Did you relieve yourselves? I hope you did because we're going to run! And Simons is in Lead!
-Before you go and get your well earned lesson, I'd like to say a few things!- Let this be a lesson that special individuals get special notice by the enemy! If you are EVER to be an effective platooon, you WILL realize that you are no better, nor worse than the other. Now get out of here!
-Disiplinary Staff Sgt."Order three fourty, Platoon 2! Move out!"
*Later that day... 5 hours later*
*all are dragging into formation for evening debrief*
-Chief Drill Instructor-*welcoming*"Troop 432! Where have you been? Role call was at 16 hundered hours. Your exceresize was at 15 hundred hours. and yet you've managed to miss both of them! You are a disgrace of a platoon! Your conduct is unbecoming! I would love to take you all back to basics, but I don't have time for more horse..poo!
-Therefore! For the Next three days, we are going to redouble our efforts!
-Hard work makes hard men and you look like you could use some hard work!
-So have fun boys and girls because tomarrow, we work!
-Staff sgt. Rucker! Meals are half time; after which, you will conductbasic excerecises and educate this platoon on how to be on time for the remainder of that time until normal excersizes at 15 hundred hours!
-Dismissed!
-Staff sgt.-"Troop 432! Move to living quarters! Now!"

I thought about that and it seems pretty funny, but I think I would feel differently if I were in Simons's place. Sad thing is... I will be in his place if I join. I hate being singled out and I hate being alone so I question whether it's really the best idea. If I don't go, I don't know what I'll say to all those that I had lied to, I almost can't face either of those situations.
God forgive me and be with me, especially when I'm all alone.
~BJbear~
PS: If military life wasn't so hard, I wish I could be on a cruiser. "Provide for the common defense! 'Hooah!'"

Blessings to an Inspiration

Thank you, Jolene M. Kuo, for being faithful to God. You are truly inspiring. You hold true to His word despite the dangers that your proffesion holds for you. I'm bewildered how I could be called by God earlier in life and yet I find that my relationship with God doesn't compare to yours. You are truely precious! God bless you through and through!
Love and blessings to my sister in Christ; love and blessings to all the childeren of God! Sincerely,
~BJbear~

Oh, Nicodemus

A man of the Pharisees click,
His name is Nicodemus
Part of the ruling counsil
He was looking for more than
Tax payers out his window sill
Too busy at day,
He got his chance at night
To talk to Jesus
He knew Jesus could
set things right
So he found Him and inquired
How Jesus was a teacher,
From God and God inspired

What Nicodemus got next
was sure to leave him vexed

Jesus saw through the shrowd
Nicodemus came to find the messiah,
Like so many crowds
He said "man must be born again"
But it wasn't simple nor plain
For Nic to think he had
a life to regain.
"Surely one can't
enter the womb twice"
Nic said in vice.
"From water and Spirit,
You must have been intertwined
To enter with God's kingdom devine."
Jesus said
"Flesh bear flesh, Spirit to spirit,
You shouldn't be so surprised to hear it."
"The wind blows wherever it pleases.
You can hear it but can't tell
Where it came from or where it is going.
So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."
Nic replied:"How can that be?"
Jesus rebuttled:"You're Isreal's teacher,
It seems pretty simple to me."
"The Son of Man must be lifted up
So those who believe can be saved"
"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whosoever should believe in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life."
Belief or condemnation,
Don't give in to hesitation
Jesus didn't come for others destruction
Listen closely, He is the world's suplication
"Light has come, but men have turned away
Enthrawled with evil display"
"Come into the light for all to see
That the truth be done via change
From He who bore man's sins on the tree."

Nicodemus had a hard time with being so superficial. He knew the word, but couldn't understand that it applied to more than just the physical. Jesus refers to the wind, and how it can't be seen but refers to the effects of the wind, Nicodemus had to deal with something that was new to him,- not being able to see something that is really there. I can relate to Nicodemus because I've heard the word of God, yet for all the times that God tries to show me that it's all about faith, I try on my own to have all the answers and fail at it. As of late, I've realized that I've lost site, like Nicodemus, that I don't have to understand or immitate the wind when I can just enjoy the simplicity of it's effects and blindly believe that it's there. Yes, I did say blindly. I'm starting to see why being blind isn't such a bad thing; it sure keeps life simple. I like to think that God wants me to have such a simple life. I've tried to be the Pharisee, and found that I just couldn't fill the shoes, so I digress on understanding the wind. God has reminded me of the days before I tried the whole pharisee thing, and I'm greatful. Like Nicodemus, God's returned simplicity to me and for the moment I'm keeping it that way. Sin also has a way of complicating our lives, it's a burden that gains weight as we go, until we give it to God to hand and let go. So there's a special person that I wish more people were able to meet. Despite how much I would love to plugg for this 'special person' but I fear for their safety, so I won't. I can only say that they played a huge role in showing me the error of my ways.
Love you brothers and sisters in Christ.
Sincerely,
~BJbear~

Then Enters the Tornado Season

*I am a happy little sunshine* Since the last time that I posted, a few exciting things have happend.Three weeks ago, I was sitting in a compie lab, the clouds were thick and seasonally on time. The same time last year, there was little show of any clouds in the sky, I knew that this year was going to be a very nicely drenched Tornado season. It was more of a suspicion than anything though because I hadn't seen a really severe storm yet, and Tornado season was almost in full fledge. For anyone that hasn't guessed it by now, I love tornado season and tornadoes and crop fields with amber waves of grain under a torrent of green deceptive terror. *sighs in bliss* Oh, yes! That's the good stuff right there! So I was waiting for the storm to unload and occasionally spoke to the clouds hoping it would make a difference; For those that think this, let me just say that it will not work, I should know after last years dry season. So disappointing. This season has been good to me though. I hoped anxiously during the day, and then when I thought that hope was almost up, I thought I heard the air conditioning unit explode in a big "Badoomp!" Shocked at the sound, I spun around to gloat at the amazing loss of a unit. Then some smaller noises came, but I ignored those as the other units were noisy anyway, sounding like they were churning rocks inside or something. But then a huge wall of falling things sounded as they barraged the window... IT WAS HAIL! I was overtaken with feelings of glee! *"Squee!!"*

For anyone wanting to know the forecast for the rest of whatever season, the first storm is always the biggest predicator of all other storms to come that season; That's another reason why I was hoping for a really severe storm. Without the first one, there would be little chance for tornadoes and the full cycle of the seasonal storms just wouldn't work themselves out. It's like working the tossing and turnings when you're trying to get some good sleep. The season MUST exhaust itself of all energy or it will be to active to be any good for the other seasons. There won't be enough snow if that happens.
If you're questioning my sanity, I don't blame you but if you want a little proof, a few days later, on Sunday of that week, I was returning with others from the pan handle of Oklahoma, a Tornado was declared on the ground by the National Weather service in Norman, OK at 8:30pm and would last till 9:30pm. That's still applicable under plausable deniability, but the next thing that happend was a pretty good indicator of how wonderous the season would be; That tornado disappated and another popped down somewhere else just east of OKCity. When the group and I had almost reached OKCity, the tornado was gone and things were picking up behind us. So basically, we piggy-backed the biggest beast you could ever find and rode it out into the sunset.. per se. That all happened until we got to Percell, south about ten miles, then everything was pretty much over at 9:45pm. Great night! I loved every moment!
I realize my ignorance lyes in the fact that I have no idea how horrible it is being in the path of something like that, it would change my view drastically, I'm sure; but, I still find it hypnotizing to see a well-formed tonado in an amber hay field with winds howling softly around it. *Warm feelings*

The place that we were traveling out of was "The Big Fun Thing" hosted in Woodward, OK and sponsored by the United Methodist Churches in OK. It was a blast! It exhausted me of most of my energy and it felt good. The event was designed with kids in mind: inflatable games(My friend Pip and I ran the sumo arena), worship time, small groups time, pizza and a band performance. The band forgot they were supposed to be there, but it was still awesome; I went back to the sumo arena for more torture. Like I said though, it was one of the most refreshing things, save the arrival of hail, that have happened to me in the past two months. Some people look forward to a certain day all year long, I look forward to Tornado season.

Other things have happened that make the weather seem so meaningless, but I'm saving the most recent and the best for the next blogger entry.
God bless you all this day!
~BJbear~

Somewhere Out There

Back when I was a little kid, probably when I was like seven years old or around there...I think. I know I was in first grade. I had some very weird things happen to me that resulted in my acceptance of Jesus as my savior.
I was born and raised into a Christian home with Christian parents, brothers, and I went to Tulsa Christian School. I was also blessed by two older very conservative, very strong Christians, Walter and Gayla Thomas. Our parents knew them from Tulsa Bible Church. Mrs. Thomas was like a grandma to us when our mom was at work; she would baby-sit my brothers and I while our mom was away at work or out of town. (I am evidence that mentor Christian families result in stronger Christian kids)
I would hear Bible stories from my mentor parents (the Thomas's) and my school teacher Miss. Star, and a strange thing would happen to me. I would burst out in the middle of the lesson with joy and laughter. It probably seemed like I was being a mockery, but I wasn't trying too. I would try to contain myself, but to no avail. There was this feeling deep down inside that what I was hearing was truth. The only way I can put it into words is to say that it was like the feeling of k owing something that was the only truth in the universe, like I was the only one that got it... that only one that understood it. Not true, but that's the feeling. It also felt like what I was hearing was a rediscovery of something that applied to me personally. Like memories recaptured. This went on for what seemed to Me., like a year... and then something indescribably tragic happened; I had a close encounter with death. One night, I had something like a dream; only, it was realistic to the umpteenth degree.
I met someone that I’ve never seen before. This person was like my soul mate, or something like one of two pieces of clay from the same batch of clay; I was the other piece of clay. We were playing together outside, playing together outside, rolling down brightly luminescent grass hills, playing tag, and playing on the see-saw. We were having the time of out life playing together, and then I sensed something like the absence of everything good in form coming toward me and my best friend. I screamed "Run" and we took off trying to out run it. Then my friend tripped and fell. I tried to help them up and then run again but the darkness caught up to us. I was only a few steps away and I had to watch in horror as the light of hope that my friend had was extinguished; as though \we were dark and given the choice to do right or wrong and it was coming to reclaim us. Before my friend was gone, they told me to run and said something else; their light was gone and the formless thing was coming after me. I yelled and woke up. I burst into tears of fear and sorrow for my friend. I could still sense that death\ was still in the room, and that it was coming to take my life too.
I jumped out of bed, ran, and knelt down by base of my bedroom door. Memories of all the stories from the Bible that my teacher and parents had told me flooded my mind. I remembered the joy that I had from hearing of the Bible. Something inside me was telling me that it was all true. I didn't want to die like my friend and I knew that Jesus had to be the answer. So I prayed "Jesus, if you're there, please forgive me of my sins. Please come into my heart and live in my heart and be my guide."
The next day, I had a few doubts, so I prayed the prayer once more with my teacher, but the instant I started; I knew that it was extremely wrong. I must've prayed a correct prayer.
A lot of other weird supernatural things have happened to me besides that(I may talk about it later); a lot of things lead me to believe that my dream was true on either a spiritual plane or on a physical plane as prophesy so I sometimes scower the earth to find a sign of her/him. I'm often reminded of the painful memory by stories and tales of very close friends reuniting and then loosing each other. One song that reminds me of it is “Somewhere Out There” from the movie “Fieval: An American Tail.” It goes something like:

“Somewhere out there,
beneath the pale moonlight,
someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight.

Somewhere out there,
someone's saying a prayer,
that we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there.

And even though I know how very far apart we are,
it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby,
it helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky.

Together: Somewhere out there,
if love can see us through,
then we'll be together, somewhere out there,
out where dreams come true.”
[Voice-overs by Phillip Glasser(Fieval Mouskavitz) and Betsy Cathcart(Tanya Mouskavitz)]

I sometimes have gone a little bit out of my right mind thinking that I had found the person and then been disappointed. I want above all, for them to be saved through Christ. I don't want the dream to be true.
Please don't take any of that lightly, I don't.
Come back Annie.
Sincerely,
~BJ~

This photo is for my Blogger profile. Art is © Robert B. Dail Jr. (me). 

Credo

Note: I DO NOT DISOWN ANYONE BY THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS! Comments have been turned off because I'm taking the matter up in the real world. I don't need to hear the same reproof over and over again. This entry is subject to immediate deletion if proof stands against me.


Remember how I said that I would be elaborating a little more on "You Knew Me...You Know Me" in later blog entries with some scripture? You may notice that there are statements not backed by scripture, I haven't done a complete study. In fact, don't even regard this entry as anything close to realistic for the time being. The verses have not been checked thuroughly enough for context yet, so the statements stand alone and should be construde as fragile opinion for the time.
I am sorry for lieing that it would be complete... it's not. Please forgive me; and to those that know me in person... please provide reproof mercifully.





-Not My Worldy Fathers' Son; Just an Alien Messenger-
or
-My Credo-

John 3:6-"Flesh gives birth to flesh and spirit gives birth to spirit"
-I am spirit in a shell

Isaiah 44:2; Psalms 139
-God knew my Soul's (permanent identity) Spirit(permanent will& way) before coming to earth

Colosians 1:16; Jerimiah 1:5-7
-God gave me a mission: to live in a family, to grow, to serve Him, and complete my mission

....;Hebrews 14:3
-He guaranteed He would never leave me

Ephesians 1:4-5
-He guaranteed me that I would find Him again in life.

Acts 17:26-27
-So I entered a world of death

-I stay here to serve till my mission is complete and will not die till then

-I was a wild creature[ie:Pikachu] and God captured me in life


-I forgot my wild survival skills so I could sacrifice my life for God, for a single adventure; for an infinate purpose.


-The creation of me, my reason for exsistance has been completed by God.


-I am not a Furry, though God could have shaped me to be birthed that way' I am a Baby Spirit. Shyly, I hide behind my creators thumb for protection; I hide from the unknoon of the world. I was a free spirit before, but to what benefit did I gain? Therefore, now, I walk freely hand and hand with Him through life.


-In this life, I press on to one goal,-The success of spreading God's word to others.

I don't even know if I should be posting this in it's entirety, but I did want to publish a credo.
Signing off,
~BJbear~

You Tamed Me

In my early days,
I had forgotten a memory so close to my birth
That reflection of thought hinted of holy myrth
Unconcerned and seemingly free
I roamed the pastures, flower patches, and trees

I ran wild like a Pikachu
Sometimes stumbling along
And feeling empty inside
Until I met You

You caught me up, and I gave you a rough [time]
Struggling as much as I could,
You called my bluff

You showed me love that seems so familiar now
I gave up my wildness to persue you now
For I found that I didn't need my wild wiles to be free
I could go on faith for miles and miles;
And you there with me

My wild skills now honed
I press on with vigor
But never alone

For you guide me wherever
You want me to be and I cooperate in
Teamwork with You for others to see
That there is a better way to live
One with more efficiancy

You in me and I in you
No one can separate us two
An unstoppable duo
Champions we will be
When all come to know you
When all are truely set free

In my old age,
When time comes to lapse
There will still be nothing
That You and I can not grasp

From champions to legends
My story will pass,
The task passes on
As I rejoin the grass
My spirit reunites with Him
You will see
I'll be closer to Him then,
Than the me... you saw.

Signing off,
~BJbear~