Coffee Bliss

-A Week in Preperation-
This week I went to an activity at the local United Campus Ministries called "Coffee House Night." All week I had been thinking about it, wondering if I should make some kind of poetic exerpt to perform that night; but alas, I couldn't find the right words, so I didn't try so hard. The poem that you saw earlier this week was actually an extened version of the 'Flower Child' poem that I was going to do.
I had said in one of the original blog entries that I would be doing goth stuff, flowery stuff, and what ever other style came to my head, thus the double reason for writing the exerpt. Like I've more recently mentioned though, I decided that I wouldn't try so hard since the poem seemed more suited to show to a friend. I felt that there was someting more that I could do; I knew that if I did that poem, I would never be able to forgive myself, because I would be corupting something good by trying to show it off as part of my imagined, glorified, overated talent. I decided to post "Dark to Light, Goth to Flowerchild" early.

-Minutes Before-
Since I had already posted the poem that I was going to do for the Coffee House event, I decided that I would come up with a Haiku. A Haiku, for those that don't know, is a highly restrictive form of writing; Restrictive, because the Chinese that came up with it were trying to force people to make their thoughts short and to the point. Often, thoughts can be a pain trying to convey, so that's where you get really long poems from. Haikus stop the incesent jabber and essentially "cut the fat."
Here's how it works: You get 3 lines to work with. The first line must have five syllables, the second line must have 7 syllables, and the last line must revert to the 5 syllable form. I'll give you an example in a few moments... just read on.

-I'll Take My Kick in the Rear to Go Please-

So I finally had my set of Haikus that I was going to do. I got up and started. I was my usual nervous self and completely failed at presenting it the right way, but it was liked none the less. Some others got up and did their performances; everyone there totally put me to shame, but I figured that I would be the one to break up the good shows to make room for the little guys like me. I had it all planned out, despite the fact that I had been trying not to be so superficial the few moments before. Sidenote: It's a source of constant anguish for me. I can't get off this roller-coaster.
But then a guy I shall term "The Great Matlock," a most respectable individual in my book, comes in the door. He was late, but none the less when he walked in, I just knew that I was about to recieve my daily kick in the rear by God; and I just can't go without my daily kicking of the rear end*being fesicious*. *sobers*...No. Seriously. I can't. I love God's lessons and He loves me too much not to give them to me. So "The Great Matlock" gets up and sings a beautiful song that just shakes me to my core. I remembered that my whole goal for the event was to do something secular and lead into worship poems to God, it was all supposed to be about God. I remembered that my love of God is an essential part of me that can not be taken away and must be shared because it's as much a part of me as my own life is a part of me... it's like breathing. No, even more.
Again, I revamped my whole thoughts. I had briefly given thought to sharing my poem about my Origins earlier in the week, but decided to see what came along instead. I got up and left to retrieve it.
I went back to that poem and shared it. It was still beautiful. I love it.

-Worship Bliss-
I know that God was with us when we began the event, but I think God is especially present with a couple people; because now that I look at it, the second that Doug came into the room, there was a power that came with him and directed the rest of the night. It's been four and a half hours since, and the music hasn't stopped. That's a good thing for anyone keeping record. Right now they're singing "He is Exhaulted." I love that song.
Honestly, I've been disatisfied with Wednesday worship for the reason that I love worship in song, and I haven't gotten enough of it lately. Today I am satisfied to the fullest! I can go for hours of praise, prayer, and lessons so this event has been very refreshing for me! It takes me back to memories of retreats with church youth groups too. "Beautiful One I love! Beautiful One I adore! Beautiful One! My soul must sing!"
I'm going to go now and continue in praise with the others.... yes we're still going strong and it's 1:08 in the morning(we started at 8pm the other day). Now you know what I like.
Oh.. oops. Here's the things I did for tonight.
-Night Cityscape Escape-(haiku)
I sit on a hill
The city lights gleem below
Lights like nigts' pebbles

-Event Coffee-
I astrange myself
Smoke and brew culminate the air
words can't find my lips

-The ABC Game-
Atop bolts centering down every flank
Gurted hastily I jam kurds lamenting
Mentioning nonsence of post quasi rapture
Silly tantrums under violent whiteness
Xilaphones yelp "zappa."
Fin
Got to go. God Bless you all this day! May you have an expirience of bliss like mine! May you have an encounter with God that is so astounding you don't forget it for weeks! Jah Bless!
Signing off,
~BJbear~

Dark to light, Goth to Flower Child

I often dwell on the two paths that we're given in life; -God's path and the path to destruction. I'm always amazed that I was so divinely drawn to God since the first day that I ever heard a Bible study. I've always had a feeling when I heard records of Biblical accounts, that it pertained directly to me;- that it was as much a part of a glorious Bible story, as it was a part of my own history. That may not make much sense, but I'll try to put it into words as much as I can.
What follows is the path of a hopeless goth to a hopeful flower child. I'm hoping that this shows an exagerated distinction between the two paths in life. I want it to be exagerated because grey areas don't help us decifer anything if we have no grounds to decifer it with.

-Dark to light, Goth to Flower Child-

Shadow haunt my nightmarish dreams
of ghosts and death and evil things.
I wake to indeciferible screams.
I don't seem to know
how to get rid of this insanity
that seems to keep me bound
to it in consciousness and at night.
I hadn't depended on myself for everthing then,
but I'm sure that if I looked in a smokened mirror,
I'd only see a blur or distortion of me,
a smeared painting of what I could be.
....And then I found Jesus.
Happy years sound dear
now that I've come into
the flower patch.
Smiley faces get bright.
Light like lillies fill the sky above.
A bright day has come,
the crocodile smiles;
I see more of the Holy Spirits'
hand since the day I asked Him in.
poem de fin.

_Junk that should never happen_
A child in pain
with a hurt that
can't be contained.
whippings on his back
and shackled in chains.
What can be done in
a situation like this?
-Another to show agope love,
justice from above.
No more hurting,
it's got to end!

Praise be to God for all His sheltering. I don't have such an incredible testimony as this and I guess I could be a little more thankful for that fact, but it doesn't dismiss my short comings when I was without God. Even though I was young, I still though a lot of silly things... but that's a poem for another time.
Signing off,
~BJbear~